Hi!

Where to begin? I'm a 43 year-old guy with bipolar. I have been on a pretty solid schedule of taking my meds and not drinking. I used to drink a ton, and I was pretty entertaining at it. Problem was no one was around when it was 6 in the morning and all the drinking and bipolar made me suicidal. But I finally got tired in 2001 and quit drinking and got my **** together.

As for my life, I'm married with a 7 year-old son. I was always afraid to be a father, but it's been great so far. My son is really cool to be around. My wife has stuck with me through some difficult times as well, and I love her for it.

However...

Me being who I am, I've ceded a lot of responsibility to her, especially when it comes to setting and sticking to a budget, etc., you know things bipolars are notoriously terrible at. I think, however, she's felt that this means she's the one in charge. She talks to me like I'm stupid most of the time, usually about stuff that normal people wouldn't even think to do that. And it's worked, because I feel stupid. I cry a lot. I'm bummed out most of the time the last few years. I brought it up to her once and she replied...by talking to me like I was stupid. She's a yeller, and I grew up in a house with yellers, and they depress me as much now as they did then. And now, my son talks to me like I'm stupid and doesn't listen to me. He'll usually ask me, I'll say no, he'll go to my wife and she'll say yes. If I were in a better place health wise, I probably would leave tomorrow, but if I left, I'm afraid of what would happen, how she would turn my son against me, how alone I'd be, etc. So that's my biggest issue now.

Besides that, I'm a musician, and I draw a lot of comfort from that. I've maintained a good sense of humor. And I've got awesome stories from when I was self-medicating. I know we're supposed to act like it was all horrible, and the end result was horrible, but still, I've lived some stuff no one else can say they have.

Besides that, not much else. Back to lurking until I feel the urge to post!