I haven't checked in to this forum in awhile because I've been doing so well with all things HPD-related, and it occurred to me, why not check in to see if I can in some way help someone else who has HPD? So here I am, and here I am replying.

Yes. Yes, I relate to almost all of what you describe. You do sound like me, and I am like you, and this is HPD, indeed. You are in the right place, from the sound of your description. I know it all. I know it all too well. Please feel free to send me an email at summeryoga@yahoo.com, in case I don't check back in here often enough.

I can say, though, that HPD is something that, though it stays with you all your life, has benefits - amazing, embrace-worthy benefits; you just have to learn to recognize the triggers that cause the difficult aspects of the disorder, and then learn to use the disorder for good, rather than drama and pain. I'm far from perfect with this (in fact, I'm just starting a cycle of HPD behaviors now - ugh -), but it can get better and be OK, even awesome, if "used" wisely.

Again, PM to my personal email for more info/q+a. Happy to help, despite my moments of weakness.