Hi Chopin,
I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with MKAC, that your sexual identity is yours to decide.
All I can really say is I know what it's like to need physical touch and not get it from your mother. I didn't realize how much I needed until I started working with a t that used physical contact, with my permission of course, especially when I was upset. This helped my healing a lot.
I also know it's hard when you don't have a lot of people in your life who touch you. I only have one male friend, like a father figure, who touches me in a friendly supportive way but not when I'm upset, as strong emotions unsettle him. I'm also in the process of looking for a new t and don't know if touch will be part of our work in therapy. I'm leaning towards thinking that perhaps the work with my previous t got me to the point where I don't need it in therapy anymore, but I'm trying not to box myself into that choice until I actually talk things over with the t.
Anyway, just wanted to say I support you.