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Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster
This is interesting. I've never met anyone diagnosed with HPD to my knowledge, I have some questions.
Do you have awareness that your emotions are shallow and that you over dramatize them at the time you're experiencing them?
Why are you uncomfortable when you're not the center of attention?
Are you ever aware that you're "being dramatic"? Like, do you act in a dramatic manner for the purpose of manipulating people(or some other reason)? Or is it a more unconscious thing, as in you're not sure why you act in the way that you do?
Also, what lead you to getting help? Do you see your behavior as a "problem" or not? Do you think some things about HPD are problematic, while some other aspects of it can be beneficial/profitable in certain ways?
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I have HPD and can answer your questions!
1) My emotions are never shallow. Ever. I feel things intensely. Very, very intensely. Including the way I feel about every person I have ever seduced, flirted with, been with ...
2) If I am not the center of attention, I feel invisible. There is no gray - it is either that I feel seen or I feel invisible. (This has gotten a lot better with therapy and EMDR!)
3) Drama and manipulation are so habitual that it is NOT a conscious choice all the time it happens, per se. But there are times when I am fully aware of manipulating (a man) because I know how to do it so well, and it does give me a sense of power, control, and being seen.
4) Knowing that my husband was in pain because of my actions lead me to get help: therapy + EMDR + low dose meds. It has helped SOOO much.
Hope this helps.