Adam, I do think, reading the above post, and the previous ones, that you have got to work on your own self esteem. Do you see a therapist? Even cogniative therapy may help you, as its way to recognise the pattern that you are in of negativity, and try and learn some methods to deal with it.

From reading too, I think that you and your wife are both very depressed and unhappy. You deal with it your way, and she deals with it in hers. But you are both not working as a team.

You apologise so very much for your feelings and your depression, and you do not need to. You apologise for feeling hurt when she rejects your advances. The feeling of hurt is entirely natural, and nothing to be sorry for. Many many people would feel the same. You apologise too for your being an 'emotional cripple' and that she may resent you. This may be true, but you have no say in how she acts. If it was too much for her, then she should've said as much, and perhaps insisted on you getting therapy. She did not need to withdraw and play xbox games all the time, and not contribute to the marriage.

It seems to me, that without you both and I mean, both, getting some help in your own lives, and gaining some confidence in yourselves, that your marriage will never improve. You both need some confidence to commit to fixing this marriage otherwise you'll just be staying exactly as you are. You also need to communicate better with each other. Also, when you say that your being an emotional cripple has harmed your marriage, why did you tell your wife about your self-harm and feeling suicidal yesterday? Without sounding harsh, she is your wife, not a trained therapist, and by being your wife does not equal being able to understand/deal/respond well. And while I understand the feeling that you should be able to share everything, not everyone is able to cope with this - esp when she obviously has troubles of her own which will effect her ability to deal.

I really do recommend therapy for you both, individually and as a couple, so you may learn how to cope with everything better and communicate well. But you both need to be 100% on board with this, as it will be a tough journey. I really do wish you well.