Hey choppin, good to hear from you again. Missed reading your thoughts.

I have the similar touch issues to yours. My H is a very patient man. We have been married 18 years. I do not like touch from him sexual or non sexual. I do not like touch from others male of female. But in working w/ children, I see in myself a stage of innocence which children posses. I do not see children as a threat. I can hold a small child and feel no uncomfortable feelings. As child nears the age of 8 or 9 I become uncomfortable w/ them. I do not like working w/ afterschool age children at all. By the time they are in there early teen years they are a definite threat. I have 3 kids my slef. The 15 yr old, I already see as a threat. His feeling scare me. Feelings of anger, hurt, disappointment. I am unclear of why there is that change in me simply due to there age.

My mother only hugged me on Christmas and very few other occasions. I don't remember my dad ever hugging me until I was 16. He was trying to help me and I hated it. I think the time frame had passed for that to be a learned trait, to be accepting of touch.

I was also ignored a a baby. I was a play pen baby. W/ a rigid schedule. Toss the baby a bottle every 4 hours. Change it every 2 hours. If it cry's ignore it, it won't cry so much in the future. Well that was completely the case. I'm so distant and unwanting and unaccepting of touch it is scary.

My H is angered and confused by this. I do feel like a bad wife. I know I should be more accepting of his touch even when non sexual. Between my upbringing and the issues that I have faced durring my teenage years I don't know that it is something that will be easily overcome. I am working w/ a T who specializes in trauma and I hope to get this ironed out one day.

In you personal opinion, is touch something that one can be thought to accept? I know you have some back ground in psy, correct? I know that I most likely didn't answer any of your Q's or help much but you did make me think. I guess I am responding to that. Thanks for making me think. (I think )