I am going to wait to take feedback in before I respond. That's only fair, so that I can mull and ponder over the viewpoints of others that I might dismiss out of hand. I do appreciate any and all feedback.

That being said, I do know that I and only I am the one who can decide about my sexuality. I may not even bring it up with T. I don't expect anyone here to answer it also. My post is mulling my new realization with the old info while taking in the different points of view.

I will say for info purposes that H and I are the absolute best of friends despite it all. Our marriage is not in danger.