Sometimes the world seems unbearably cruel and unfair. I'm so sorry to hear about this. Your mother is punishing you emotionally and will likely not give you a change to redeem yourself in her eyes. You could, if you're feeling up to it, try to make up with her but the chances of success are small, in my opinion. I think if you are well enough for it, you could ask her for her forgiveness and tell her that you never meant to hurt her, that your actions didn't reflect on her as a parent (if that's true), etc.