I know when I'm paranoid I can not be convinced to go to the dr. If I'm "convinced" to go no one can get me to speak. There is no way I would have gone if I didn't go through intake, psychiatrist and therapist appointments as support for my husband for a while. Maybe therapy would be less scary or going as a support to you or your siblings or your dad. Voice you mistrust of the neighbors and how they stress your mom out. If she's willing to be a support it may whittle down her mistrust.