From what you are saying, it sounds like your family certainly was dysfunctional and insensitive, and I think it could be labeled as abuse.

I can tell you are still really dealing with all those memories. I do suggest you see if you can find a therapist to help you work through some of your anger. And maybe avoid these relatives.

Please try to remember you are away from them now, so you can calm down some. I'd be mad at what your father said, too, though!