I am so incredibly furious right now that I can't see straight and my head is pounding.

First, let me say that I have always been an animal lover and have always had a pet.

I love my dog like he is my child.

I am growing to love the neighborhood cat who has been with me since my son moved out a month ago. This cat loved my son and now that he is gone, the cat is coming in to eat like he has for several years, but since my son isn't here for him to sleep with he is sleeping with me. He gets more and more snuggly each day.

The problem is the cat we got several years ago. I never wanted a cat, but I wanted to get rid of the mouse problem.

This cat has never had much to do with us. A couple of years ago (when the neighborhood cat started coming around more often after his owner died), she started peeing on stuff. She has been spayed. I was reading online and a lot of people said if a cat is peeing inside, get her spayed.

So, over the last couple of years, I have bought all kinds of cleaners to spray to try to get rid of the cat pee smell.

I have bought special enzyme treatments for the laundry. She likes to find a laundry basket full of dirty or clean laundry, and pee on it. She pees on the bathroom rugs. She pees on the kitchen rugs. If you leave a jacket or coat out, she pees on it.

When she pees on clothes or rugs, I have to run them through the washing machine at least 4 times using the enzymatic cleaner in the first load to try and get rid of the cat pee smell, and then follow up with w or 3 more washes with vinegar in there to try to get rid of the nasty smell of the enzymatic cleaner.

A few weeks ago, I had decluttered my desk area and put some important papers in a box. I walked by it later and she was squatting on top of the box, peeing all over it. I put a trash bag over the box and she has gone back to it and peed on the plastic several times.

Tonight I started to make my bed. I'm very picky about the mattresses and pillows. They're expensive and not that old and I want to keep them nice.

I put the mattress cover on and then got distracted. When I went back into my room, this cat was lying on the mattress, trying to act cute. I picked up the bottom sheet to make the bed, and it was wet.

I smacked the cat really hard and screamed at her. She ran and hid.

My son just came by to pick up a few things and witnessed my rage.

I was sitting here Googling my city and state + "euthanasia" to try and find out how much it would cost.

Am I a terrible person?

Now it's F'ing 8:30 p.m. and I just started washing my sheets AGAIN. This is the first load. I'll need to wash them several times before I can dry them and make the bed.

I only have one set of sheets. Yes, I'm some kind of pathetic impovershed person. I don't have an extra set of sheets to make the bed while these are in the wash.

Now I won't be able to go to bed until really late tonight. If I can calm the hell down.

My son said not to euthanized her. He said to at least take her to the humane society so they can find her a home.

So I said, "Yeah. Don't you know what they do there? If they can't find homes, they euthanize them. No one wants older cats. They want cute kittens, and the human society gets way too many of them dumped off as it is and has to kill them."

Yes, I guess I'm a terrible person.

P.S. I'm reading more about this online.

It looks like cats do this out of aggression or urinary tract infections.

She definitely is mad about this other cat being around.

A lot of websites are saying to take her to the vet for evaluation in case it's a urinary tract infection.

I can't afford to take this damn cat to the vet and get medications for it.

I just spent $200 on my dog's vet visits and medication right before I got fired and I love this dog like crazy.

Hate this cat. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.