I really wish I could say that I have no idea what it's like, but I can honestly say that I know the exact feeling you're having right now. I have two cats myself and the younger one (now 6 years old) used to pee on literally EVERYTHING. For, no joke, the first 4 years we had her. She only stopped when we moved into our house a few years ago.

It was a constant struggle getting her to use the litter box at all. Even after we moved she'd still pee on the floor literally RIGHT NEXT TO her litter box. And, I kid you not, she finally stopped going on the floor only a month ago because I somehow worked out that she doesn't like scented kitty litter. There were a couple of times I raged on her pretty bad. I picked her up by the scruff of her neck and screamed in her face on more than one occasion.

(As a side note, my other cat who is a year older has always had a fascination with tipping over their water dish. Literally. Every. Day. The worst part is that he'd do this in the middle of the night, so if I happened to need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and needed to walk through the kitchen to do so, I would walk RIGHT through the lake of water. Once I caught him in the act and in my momentary blind rage... again... I can relate to that... I might have shoved his face in the water for a few seconds. Afterwards, I did feel really bad about it.)

Only because I've been through this before can I say that, no, I don't think you're a bad person. Or it's entirely possible that I am also a bad person. I think you're just a person who has reached their limit. I get it, and I've threatened to throw them outside at least once a week since we got them.

There are no kill shelters in many locations, that may an option. Good luck, I know how frustrating and conflicting the whole situation can be.