I disclose things a little piece at a time, and yes, after every piece I think I can't possibly go back and face my therapist again. It helps me to remember that she deals with this stuff all the time, so even though I feel exposed and dirty, she doesn't see me that way. She usually already had an idea that what I told her had happened, though she is absolutely professional and would NEVER voice that. I haven't shocked her, I haven't grossed her out, and the thing I learned going back every time after disclosing to her was that it didn't change what she thought about me in the way I expected. She did not think less of me, she didn't see that I was "bad"...those are MY filters not hers. She's told me many times that she feels honored when I share this stuff with her, and that it makes her feel more compassion for me. Sharing the things I find horrid about myself and my past has been one of the most healing things I have done...it just doesn't feel like that in the moment.