I don't have to wonder about why abused are attracted to abusers. I was abused and I have worked on domestic voivlence hotlines and crisis center hotlines and help put together workshops with other survivors for educating professionals as to what goes on with survivors.

the reeason is because the abusers abuse is such a way as to knock the victims self esteme and so on down and make them believe they deserve it, that they the victims are to blame when the significant other goes off. also a majority of adults in abusive relationships have been abused as children so they have been raised with thats the way its supposed to be so they look for what they believe is normal and to someone who has been abused all their life abuse is what is normal to them.

Im not a professional so I am not analyzing whether or not the poster being attracted to the same people is significant or not. thats for her therapist to do based on her own feelings and situations in her real life.

Since I am not her therapist it isn't up to me to analyze for significance or not so I am just talking about the one issue that she posted about - being attracted to her present therapist and whether or not she should discuss it with that therapist.

Besides no where in her post did the original poster does say this has happened to her before so I am not going to read into it that is has when I don't know that

When someone says they have the hots for someone that means they are sexually attracted to the person, they think the person is cute. She herself said she was had the hots for him and the way a psychiatrist explained it to me having the hots for a therapist is a sexual attraction not transference unless the client is believing the therapist has the hots for them also. - putting theor own feelings for the therapist out of themselves into the therapist. But thanks for the link I am always looking for new information.

"Transference is a phenomenon in psychology characterized by unconscious redirection of feelings of one person to another. For instance, one could mistrust somebody who resembles an ex-spouse in manners, voice, or external appearance; or be overly compliant to someone who resembles a childhood friend.

In a therapy context, transference refers to redirection of a client's feelings from a significant person to a therapist. Counter-transference is defined as redirection of a therapist's feelings toward a client, or more generally as a therapist's emotional entanglement with a client.

According to your own sourse its saying what I am saying that it is transference if the client believes the therapist being like someone in their past or present life or the client believes the therapist is in love with them

The original poster isn't saying her present therapist is like anyone else in her life and isn't saying her therapist is in love with her. she is saying she the client is in love with her therapist and wants to know if she whould talk to him about it.

and my advice stands yes I believe she should talk about her attraction to her therapist with her therapist so t hat it does not interfere with her therapy program.