Hi everyone. Three weeks after my husband's attempted suicide due to depression and ocd overload ...today when I went to the local shops i started crying. I had to come home..could not even go to a coffee shop. Thing is he has had lots of attention from being in hospital to people phoning everyday. He has several shrinks who will talk to him at the drop of a hat. I feel like my adult son and I are the victims here.

When we waited seven hours in emergency for him to be seen after the attempt all this bizarre stuff came out. He had no filter. Told us how he had an emotional affair with a 27 year old girl at work. Declared his feelings and asked if it was reciprocated. Well this is the shyest man on earth and this is how he declared his feelings to me. Thirty years ago. But he said he had never felt like this in his life before and did not know what he would do if the feelings for her did not go away.

Over the past week my son started seeing a therapist and it's the same one who treated my husband for his breakdown four years ago. He told me that my husband has AvPD and very severely at that and he is concerned for myself and our son. He told my son that he was speaking to the therapist in the third person...he and she rather than our names or titles and he said he is deeply scarred by lack of ability to love him by his father. Not to mention emotional abuse due to the AvPD.

This explains so much. It really hurts though as our son is in constant pain...has been since he was a baby and he does not need this as well. I too am in dreadful pain from a spinal injury..recently had a colostomy due to the damage to my bowel that has made me incontinent for twenty years. I have just got my life back...able to go out without pooing myself and he does this?

He told me in front of strangers ..while he was in the hospital that he is not in love with me anymore and wondered why I cried for thirty minutes ...and not one mental health professional in the room came to comfort me. The shrink just kept telling me everything that my confused mentally ill husband had said and so he took everything as a marriage issue. Including the suicide attempt when I told him I would get a divorce if he did not get mental health help.

I feel so isolated and betrayed. Yesterday and today my husband seemed a bit happier, started cracking jokes ... First in months but it's made me sadder. He has password protected his phone since he got back and Facebook and his email account. I saw the girl and him had connected again on Facebook yesterday and think that is why he is happy again.

He feels guilt as a born again Christian and shame but he has no concept of the agony my son and I are in. My son wants me to tell him to leave but his family is in uk we are in Australia. Apart from us he has no friends. I have no support from my parents as dad has had two strokes in eight months and mum has dementia. I am trying to juggle care of them with my son and now my husband. My husband now wants me to be with him every minute...only time I have a breather is when he goes on his two or three hourly walks ...he does that once to twice a day as he is not well enough to go back to work yet as he was humiliated and bullied there. With his AvPD that is extremely painful to him. I nursed him back to health four years ago and I cannot do it again. I am too sad and betrayed and humiliated.

He agreed no talking or contact with the girl when he left the hospital but he cannot seem to stop himself. She told him he is a father figure but she still had the hide to come to our home on Christmas eve and then take him back to her place until early hours Xmas morning. The psychologist said to us both it was inappropriate of her ..not to mention him to inflict her on us then and she knew what she was doing. Husband still said it was innocent but I cried all Xmas day and he still thinks I am wrong...that I am as he said " taking away his happiness"

Thanks for reading...this past three weeks has been hell on earth.