I was awake most of the night, and fantasizing about various things to help me get through the dark... I woke up again for the morning, and decided to get moving. I'm actively pushing those negative thoughts away, but only with the help of earbuds playing beats into my skull... I just have to make it through to 1pm, then... what? I have no idea. Just make it through till bedtime. Then just make it through till morning. Then keep picking small goals. Mornings are generally better. While I woke up with that same heart-racing shaking feeling, I'm doing better...
Here's to another day. Sometimes I'm not 100% sure what I fight through the feelings for when it only means fighting some more in a continuous loop...
Stay safe all.