I can't speak for you or anyone else, Survival. But I think I can relate. I have recently been experiencing feelings similar to what you describe. And it's really not like me. I'm usually often the eternal optimist. I know a lot of what I am feeling comes from the fact that I'm turning sixty soon, and I really don't feel that overall my life will improve. As I used to feel when younger. However, I still believe in surviving, and in trying to survive life the best way I can. I do believe that there will be joy and peace in spots, too. And I think this is ok. I don't know your circumstances. Don't know if you're responding to a trigger or it's emotions or both. I wish you the best. And, I really don't think the way that either one of us is feeling is all that unusual, anymore. The best to you!