OK, so I've been doing a little research into psychology of OCD and intrusive thoughts, because it's about damn time that I learned more about what I have suffered alone my entire life!
I found this particular part within a very fancy write-up about OCD and risk assessment (the plausibility of someone acting on their thoughts, and the risk one has on thereself or another) Before the quoted text, there was an example of a sexually intrusive thought.
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By definition, such intrusions are unacceptable and ego-dystonic, and the person is no more likely to act on their intrusions than a person with height phobia is to jump off a tall building. The obsession represents a type of fear or worry that the patient does not want to happen; like all fears or worries, it concerns ideas that the patient wishes to avert at all costs.
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This has really helped to read.
For those a little confused, what this text is saying, is that the mere fact that you are indeed
suffering with OCD, is a clear indication that one couldn't ever react on such thoughts, or at least the highly inappropriate ones. Although this is probably spilling into the area of impulse issues, I have acted on mere impulses, such as smashing a cup on a wall, but these, while unusual and possibly scary, are actually acceptable, whereas something like a sexually inappropriate act, is
not acceptable and therefore such an act can not be carried out, and the fact that one suffers to such a degree over this
distressing and
debilitating thought, helps to clear the fog and reveal the innocence, and understanding that it is just the OCD.
For those unaware of what "ego-dystonic" means (as I indeed was) please refer yourself to the following brief Wiki explanation:
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Egodystonic (or ego alien) is the opposite of egosyntonic and refers to thoughts and behaviors (e.g., dreams, impulses, compulsions, desires, etc.) that are in conflict, or dissonant, with the needs and goals of the ego, or, further, in conflict with a person's ideal self-image.
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For further information, please click the below link.
WARNING: I have not read it all, so I cannot guarantee that you won't read something distressing. Furthermore, the content itself (similar as it did with me, a little) may trigger your paranoias regarding the legitimacy and reality of your intrusive thoughts. If you are currently feeling vulnerable, do not risk it, but instead wait until you are feeling rather strong, so that you can better understand and arm yourself when you are next struggling. If you are fully aware and accepting of the illegitimacy of your intrusive thoughts, then you should be OK.
http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/15/5/332.full
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{ Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil
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