I know people typically write in this forum about grieving over the death of someone, but as I was answering a post here, I realized how strongly I am still grieving over another kind of loss---the loss of a career.
I worked hard to earn an advanced degree, to work my way up in the system, to feel a sense of accomplishment and success. And 20 years into the process, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ultimately had to go on disability. I guess part of my grief, too, is over my loss of marbles, my sanity. My career was as a college professor, and how can someone do that when her memory is terrible and her mind goes blank right in the middle of a lecture? When she never knows when she'll have to go back into the hospital, making a fool of herself in a manic state or collapsed in a depressive state?
Of course, a lot of "poor baby" comments are not what I need. I am now finding some satisfaction in other ways, such as even being here at Psych Central.
But I do think almost all of us here are grieving over something similar. Not all grief is the grief of the death of a person. Grief can also occur with a loss of who we were and a loss of our sense of stability and sanity.
Thanks to anyone who reads this post. I share my mutual feelings with you, too, as you find yourself traveling down a different path than what you expected to be traveling at this point in your life.