Hello,

Thank you for your message, we have a lot in common as my chronic pain is also a slipped disk. I use a BuTrans patch ( 7 day morphine patch ) which is physically impossible to overdose on and works miracles with chronic pain although useless for break through pain though.

*********I don't understand "break through pain." Does that mean you are always in discomfort?

Luckily I found booze fairly simple to cut right back, I have had a box of san migel beers in my flat for over a month now and not been tempted at all to drink alone. When I had drunk it reached about 1 to 2 bottles of wine a night at its peak. However the back pain intensified when I drank, I got mega restless legs and the hangovers were real punishment due to my medications and pain relief. So that all helped to make it a no brainier. Not everyone has there own body repelling it and it is so easy to slip into the habit and is one of the most difficult things to leave behind.

************* Yes, Alcohol was easy peasy compared to pot. Although I thought the UK was more innudated with hash? I guess that was before hydroponic's. I'm a blackout drunk, and my pdoc said DO NOT DRINK on my medication - very dangerous. I also have on occasion restless leg syndrome. It wakes my husband up it is so bad and it hurts my back in the morning! They make medication for it in US, but I quit because I'm on enough meds. Alcohol made me break out in hives or a red rash on my neck & chest as does anxiety/panic. So, my body was totally rejecting it as a poision. Alcohol is a depressant which stops my medication from working, so yeah no-brainer

You have done very well yourself and can reassure yourself you have made past the most difficult period in terms of addictions. Has the demon drink been more challenging for you?

***********Not by a long shot. I was an obsessive pot smoker, but the obsession is gone today. Also, when I go for a long enough period sober pot makes me paranoid & anxious - no fun. I had 4 years sober and had to get drunk to smoke pot so I didn't have a panic attack. That is so stupid. I basically weaned myself back on pot!

Leaving weed has been a very different experience, for me this is the hardest thing I have ever had to leave behind.

***********YES YES YES!! But it is so worth it to get that damn monkey off your back. I was in total bondage to weed. It dictated where I went, who I befriended, how I spent loads of money . . . I was always afraid to run out of my stash. I hated that feeling!


I am finding myself being unstable without my fags and weed, a lot more sensitive and getting triggered by events that typically wouldn't.

************* That is normal I believe because we have to relearn how to be ok in our own skin. We are so used to immediate gratification and relief from any discomfort or anxiety. It's like having to learn how to work through problems for the first time.



I went to see my GP today, rough as hell coz I have not been sleeping, teeth hurt, head ache, weakness and dizziness. But I drove down in my car i was not that out of it but by the time I got to my GP's office I was acting very strangely. I think the group of loud active children in the waiting room triggered me. I felt so bad, she came across as quite upset that I taken an OD especially as she had taken extra time to talk to me a few weeks ago. She said she was going to increase my medications until I had done that I could have really done with some proper pain relief, I messed up there. I am going to have to give her a call tomorrow I think great another night of worrying ahead of me. I had to sit my my car for an hour before I dared drive anywhere afterwards. It was dangerous I should not have been on the road.

************* She probably doesn't want to give you pain relief if she feels you are unstable or an addict. BUT you did the right thing - you told her the truth!! I had to reevaluate my pain because I was over medicating to feel numb or escape. Yes, I agree about driving. Maybe next time a friend or cab could take you?

It is times like this that I crave a spliff to turn my brain off this over active worry. I am going to take your advise and look for a distraction that will calm me like meditation. I'm not a big fan of spirituality and religion at all but certainly can't ignore how people get so much from it. I was really sad my GP did not say well done or made any comment about me having done well in not smoking. I guess the OD and my strange behaviour out staged my success.

*********** Try exercise & diet. My husband and parents did not give me much praise at all for sobering up and it really pissed me off. I think they may be afraid it's a temporary thing.

I would like more knowledge and control with meditation and relaxation but without all the hard work and dedication for being a follower of anything. I'm more of a highlights and sky + fast forward, rewind, pause and play sort of gal :0).

*************Yes, most addicts want to fast forward. I know I do!


Don't worry I won't turn to coke, I have partied with it before and know it will not have the effect I crave. Sounds like that has been a battle for you at one point.

*************Good Deal. It was hell to get off that crap.

Thanks for Your input, I'm still feeling very out of it so I hope my response is not too much of a ramble, I struggling to convert thoughts to words.