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My former psychologist was treating me for PTSD, DID, EDNOS. He created an online account as another way to communicate with me. At first it was fine but as our communication grew and therapy continued, more and more uncomfortable posts began showing up on his site. There began being posts about his own past and horrific events. He became mentally unstable, in his words “cracking.” Some posts about blood and cutting began to appear one night, a problem I have as well, and a very long, late evening ensued of me trying to get him to put down his knife if I agreed to do the same.
He shut down his site, but reopened another. On this site he posted a pornographic image of a shaved and pierced girl’s vagina, which disturbed many of my alters, myself included.
My psychologist, realizing he was becoming mentally unhinged began to see his former psychologist, although he continued treatment with me up until very recently. He has now ceased most contact with me and refuses to see me. I believe he is trying to get away from the instability I seem to cause him.
I want to let go but I cannot help but continue feeling violated and confused by his requests for my secrecy, and promises to never abandon me, that we would grow old together, I am having a difficult time accepting his choice to abandon me and my mental health is suffering greatly because of it.
My problem is I don't know if any of this is normal therapy, or if it is just me. If it is abnormal as wrong, as my family doctor stated after I showed him the pornographic picture, I am afraid that by coming forward my ex-psychologist will not only hate me, but call me confused or crazy because I have been diagnosed with DID which can include amnesia. I have the image he posted as proof I am not lying, but I’m still terrified.
I just want to be able to let go of him, find out if it was normal or just me, and find a way to move on to learn about a normal therapeutic relationship and boundaries. Please let me know whether this was right, wrong, or if I'm just crazy for being uncomfortable, hurt, and scared. I've been keeping my word to not tell anyone but I can't anymore. Not if I still want help to have a real and normal life.
Last edited by Christina86; Mar 06, 2013 at 11:25 PM.
Reason: added trigger icon
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