Today I went to my 12 step meeting; the meeting I thought I was never going to again.

I shared there.

I actually connected with someone for a short moment. He's another person with bpd.

I rode home on a crowded bus---still HATE that. And also hate how I react to men on it. I am always afraid they will do something inappropriate before I even know what they'll do.

Also, my mentor had to remind me tonight not to let my frustration with my uncle (who never really dealt with our situation of almost being homeless) get to me. I will find a way.

Yes, I am angry and I am very sad. Bruce has been my only real friend, besides Ani. When he is gone, what will happen to me? I am so scared. I think something's happening to him. I think he might even be getting ready to pass away. I feel his life force ebbing.

And there's no one to help me. Really.

Ani can only encourage me. He's barely getting by himself.

Oh, g*d... .

I pray every day for the strength to prepare for what I know will be the most challenging phase of my life.

Carol