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Mar 05, 2013, 01:11 AM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: san marcos, ca.
Posts: 12
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Hi, I'm new here, and I just need to talk. I have been diagnosed with severe depression, with PSTD I also have 2 severe health issuses that keeps me from working, I'm losin functios of my extremities I'm in alot of pain, and this doesn't help my depression.
The last few weeks I have been feeling such a deep lonelyness in my heart, I cry allot and its so hard for me to get up in the morning, the only reason I do is because I have Dr. appts. and physical theapy but then I just want to come home and stay in my room. sometimes I do want to talk to someone but I just cant find the words to say. or sometimes I wish someone would just come and hold me and just let me cry until I fall asleep, or tell me I'm going to be okay. I wish I could call my mom and she would tell me she loves me and hold me without saying anything. My heart is hurting so much lately and I cant explain why. I have had depression my whole life and I was taught to hide my feelings and I learned to put a smile on my face and say I'm fine but deep inside I wish people would just look in my eyes and see that im not fine, I have also learned at a early age to build a wall around me because I'm afraid of being hurt. I don't know if any of this makes since but I just needed to talk and finding this site I thought I'd try it.
Its easy for me to write because know one knows me so I can't hear anyone here make fun of me or judge me, or think that im stupid for writing this, I just hope that someone will see that my feelings are real and I just need someone to understand. 
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