I have been writing about things that have been going on at my university for psychology, that started with a problematic email I wrote while asleep on Ambien.

Then the student, who couldn't accept that or my sincere apology and changes in behavior, made more trouble for me at the university.

Finally, she verbally attacked me, causing "intentional infliction of emotional distress," which the University supposedly investigated, but really it was just for show because they were not actually interested in protecting me from this student. Instead, they were already considering dismissing me from the program.

I didn't realize that at the time. They said instead that some sort of supportive plan would be put in place, but when I met with the committee inquiring about everything, it seemed to go okay, if not well.

But I just heard last night that that committee summarily dismissed me from the program all together, and the reasons all had to do with the problematic email written on Ambien.

Even though I stressed over and over, and had a letter from my psychiatrist about the side effects of this medication, they are psychologists not psychiatrists so they held me responsible and did not consider the medicine at all.

And they said that there was no previous behavior that could establish a pattern, they just stuck to the content of that one email and just said it was bad enough to dismiss me.

I haven't been able to absorb the impact this has yet. I'm in a state of shock. My whole future is over. I can't apply to another school with this dismissal on my record. I'm going to have to take legal action to clear my record so I can try another school.

In the meantime, I have lost everything. Lots of time and money went into tuition and maintaining an additional apartment away from my husband. Now I have to try to get out of the lease and move back in with him.

Then I have to see if it is still possible to pursue a career as a therapist, this time maybe just an MA rather than a doctorate.

I do have some free legal benefits through my husband's university benefits, but I don't even know what kind of law this falls under. I think there are two cases here. One against the student for attacking me and the other about the University not considering the side effects of a well known medication and just dismissing me which is extreme. I called even in the letter of dismissal an "outstanding student." So I believe that an attorney would be able see right through what the University has done as injustice because there are legal precedents about Ambien, that the psychologists didn't even want to hear about, but which an attorney could use to say that the University dismissed for something I am not responsible for, even though I did try to take some responsibility in the sense that I apologized to the student several times.

I think this whole experience is going to end up producing yet another traumatic experience that will reactivate my now rather quiet PTSD. I'm really afraid that will happen. I'm in such a state of shock right now that I have no idea what will happen when this sinks in.