Thanks for the support everyone

Well I discussed the situation with my therapist last night, and he said that J was acting mature and that I was in the wrong He said that I rely on other people too much to make me feel better when something makes me feel bad (ie the meeting with the girl I used to be friends with). He said that J was doing a good job of exercising healthy boundaries with me and that he was being a good friend to me by not letting me get away with manipulative behavior. I'm not totally convinced though. I know J does have his own issues to some extent - he's naturally a caretaker so is scared of getting sucked into caretaking again. He doesn't like to talk about himself much, not just to me but to anyone. My natural instinct still is to talk to him about how I felt about that day, but my therapist told me not to. He said I should just tell J how much I appreciate his friendship. It's gonna be hard not to talk about it...I really like talking to people when I feel I've been hurt.

Also since I have abandonment issues, I'm always looking for signs of rejections and looking for reasons to reject people before they can reject me. My therapist says that's what I'm doing now. I know that J and I won't be seeing eachother as much after graduation so I'm looking for a way to reject him so I won't feel his rejection as much.

It's really hard getting tough love from both J and my therapist in one day ;_;