Adam, it sounds like she has already left the marriage. It sounds like your role in her life might be more as a financial provider. That's not much for you to hang on to. If you have no kids, maybe you should consider that this may not ever really have been a marriage. If you own anything, I recommend you see a lawyer now, quietly. Get advice before confronting her.

I don't know you well, or much about your circumstances. I hope you find a way forward. Sometimes, we find that we have not so much gained a partner in life, so much as that we have adopted a child. It happened to me. It's no good. I'ld also add, having tried all kinds, that loveless sex is worth very little. I doubt it's what you really want, either. Your wife will be unlikely to change, no matter how much counseling you get - IMO. I dragged a less-than-committed partner to "couples counseling." The counselor got some of my money. That's all anyone got out of it.

I think that what I have been told is true of abusive partners is also true of childlike/dependent partners. They may later change/grow up to make a better marriage with someone else, but not until they leave you. Their pattern with you is established. It's very hard to move on. Believe me, I know. Half hanging on is tempting, but worse than cutting strings. I wish I had believed that years ago.