some of my memory pieces are emotion based too and thats still a memory. For example if you go to a party one day the next day you know you were happy at that party. How do you know that - because your brain stored that emotion in your brain as a piece of memory. everything that is not happening right now or tommorow is considered a memory of the past be it something you felt said did 2 minutes ago or years ago its now a memory because it already happened and it is not happening right now.

how do I express emotions - by writing what I am feeling, by painting what I am feeling, by creating scale models and diaramas of what I am feeling, by listening and singing along with music that says what I am feeling these things are things that I sometimes do alone but it is still considered by therapy professionals as appropiate forms of expression. Just like someone who writes and publishes a book is expressing themselves in some way, an artist expresses themselves by their art, an actress and actors express theirself by taking their scripts and adding their own tone of voice, movements and so on to it. dancers express their self by dancing. and so on.

not everyone expresses themselves in verbal ways and no body HAS to express theirself in verbal ways. everyone expresses their self in whatever ways that they are able to do.

What makes the form of expression appropiate isn't whether or not they tell someone verbally or not. ways of expressing emotions are considered appropiate as long as those ways are not doing harm to the person or others.

You cried alone. maybe that is just your way of expressing your sadness like mine is singing to my favorite country music singers CD's, tapes and so on. or doing my splatter arts and dot arts and so on. crying alone is not a bad thing and I do it sometimes and many therapists told me so what theres no reason I have to get over it because there is nothing to get over. I just happen to be the type of person that has other ways of expressing myself then verbal a majority of the time.

and how do I learn to trust those that are in my life - by getting to know them and knowing what their personal beliefs and points of views are and over time of being around them and experiencing their not hurting me.

Trust isnt something that you can make happen it just does through your experiences.

Hang in there.