I think it's because it makes my life a reality. When I'm home I feel like I need to get stuff done. I need to be doing something productive. , but in reality I never do. I get so overwhelmed that I do nothing ,, and just sit there and be depressed about it. When I try to do something productive, nothing goes right, so it makes me not even wanna try.
Another thing is that it's SO LOUD here. The dogs are always barking , my brothers are constantly making noise. There is never just OUR family here, there's always friends and other people here. The TVs are always loud to hear over top of the dogs. It's like I can barely hear myself think. ,, it just seems like everything and anything and Everyone just makes me go crazy when I'm home. I'm irritated , im grouchy , im depressed, im sad, im mad, im *****y, etc. I don't know how to just calm down and get down to business. I only have a year and a half left, why is everything so hard now? :/