there was one phrase that was going around and around in my head as i read your post: "you cannot heal from depression overnight, it takes alot of time and alot of hard work, perserverance, support, and most of all, acceptance".

you need to accept you have depression, which you have.

you need support, which you have got here at PC.

you need perseverance, to stick at it and keep working. even though you feel talking isnt helping, you say that you feel you need to talk...if that isnt a sign then i dont know what is. even if its just small talk every so often to begin with, it all helps. to get past depression is a long hard road, with many bumps on the way. you need to be able to talk about what is upsetting you and getting you down. you may not be able to do this with your boyfriend, doesnt mean you are fading apart though. talk on here. thats what we are here for.

trust me, talking does help, its the main cure for depression.

hope it goes well and i want you to know that we are all here for you if you should need us.

speak soon

simon