Honestly I think I just have to ride it out when I get like that. I don't think I can healthily process or even sort out the thoughts like an electrical storm in my brain. Maybe best to just take cover until it slows down. No way I was able to journal or email in that state, I could barely explain myself, I am calmer now and can somewhat reflect on it. But it's like an insanity storm that that there's no way out of, i cant even piece together now all the thoughts images random piecings that were going on upstairs. maybe next time I can remind myself it will pass, because it felt like an eternal mayhem of hell I would never escape. I'm grateful to have you my friends here to talk to about it, otherwise I'd be trying to hide it and suffering even worse and alone, and suspect it would last even longer if I didn't have anyone to talk to about it.