;_; I lost my post.

Here are some suggestions:

Burn sage/lavender. I am *pretty* sure I read that you burn sage, so doing it before you sleep may help create a positive space for you during these stressful times. Also burning lavender is supposed to have a calming effect. (I got this off google)

Progressive muscle exercises before you go bed. Just lay in bed and play one of the guided ones on youtube. You'll get so good at this that you won't need a video. Plus this is a form of meditation.

Smoking. Go outside before you sleep. Try to find a quite, safe spot and smoke. The breathing in smoking helps anxiety. (I saw this somewhere on the forum)

Right now I think you need to focus on creating a positive space where you feel safe. My safe spot is the bath tub. I sit in water far too long and turn into a prune but it helps me calm down. If you want to sit in mud and squish your toes in it to feel earth, gooood! If you want to count stars...good! Do something that puts you in a positive space and clock out of the chaos of life. I promise it's worthwhile.