Well, it looks like the only friend I had is no longer going to be there for me (we stopped communicating) and I've been highly irritated and impatient with my family and feeling suicidal. I hate who I have become but don't know how to change it. It's obvious that I am driving people away with my negativity and years of struggles but I dont' know how/or it its possible for me to get better and have a more positive outlook on life. Is life worth it if you face a future that will be full of sadness, fear , and depression--I'm just not all that sure anymore...............