So I suppose I'm talking about being depressed, I don't actually know if I have depression and so I'm really sorry if I offend anyone. It's kind of self-diagnosed. Again, I'm really sorry. I guess I should share now.
I was in a relationship and it was the first time I'd been in love, I'm only seventeen. But that doesn't matter. I've never been very good at getting close to people and so I became really paranoid throughout the relationship and I would make suicide threats and cry for help all the time. Sorry if that was offensive, I know it's petty and stupid. Sorry. But uh, I should continue. I was so scared that I eventually pushed her away and she left, my failed high school and I just lost the will to do anything. Sorry for complaining, I had one friend through it all so I really shouldn't. I'm just trying to share. So yeah, after it all happened I made a few more big scenes for attention, which is really stupid I know. And eventually I just isolated myself. I felt nothing at all, I was just alive and empty, their but not hollow. I just felt numb all the time, I stopped doing anything at all. Then one day I felt this random pain, it was like a constant emotional thud in my chest and it was like a deadweight sitting on my shoulders. Literally like I was carrying a body on top of me. It's been about a month since that has happened. So I suppose guess that's depression. If it's not I really am sorry, I don't want to act like I know how it feels to be depressed. I think it is.
So yeah, I guess that's me sharing. Sorry for typing so much. But if you read it than thanks.