Hi everyone! I'm new to this..
Anyways I've always had a problem with even thinking of being in a relationship. I've definitely had opportunities to have one with a guy, but I honestly cannot make myself do it. Every time I ever get close to being in one, I get extreme anxiety and I can't shake it. The other night I was at my friends house and we started cuddling, which we have never done. Anyways, after a while we started holding hands. I ended up falling asleep and waking up frequently and basically spent the night there. No anxiety at all, I was actually really content. It was not until after I left and I had to think about us ever even getting close to a relationship when I started getting anxiety. We talked about us being something and I kept telling myself to not freak out, but it kept building. So when I finally went to school (I'm a senior in high school) I was having such bad anxiety it was like I couldn't even face him. I ended up telling him we should just stay friends, which he was understanding, but it's still a problem. The fact that I'm 18 years old and I can't force myself to get into a relationship is just sad and I hate that I have to use the word force, because it should be something I really want to do and I'm happy about it. I really wish I could be carefree like everyone else and just commit like I want to, but I can't. If anyone has any advice that could help me I would appreciate it so much!