..all my mates keep dying!

it's not fair on them...

I didn't do enough!

another dear mate just overdosed...

I could have saved him but I am too selfish and too messed up....

he was a tough boy..someone easy to hang around with a beautiful boy....psycho wonderful and charismatic and just superb!

I thought he was ok...

some things nobody shares...

he was falling and I didn't know?

..I am always in free-fall...but thats no excuse....

I never expect to actually hit the ground and die!

Jason hit the ground!...I cannot believe it...

he flew past me ...I never seen him falling so fast!

...Jason was a beautiful boy a terrific man...

he was alive yesterday morning...

his death will be alive longer than anyone has ever lived!

I'm still here

it's not fair