No, there's more than that in life, Speed. You know that, too. You're in a state of depression which has thrown your chemistry out of whack.

Please get another psychiatrist and get on one of the newer medications such as Lamictal that will help correct the chemical imbalance and enable you to see things more clearly.

I know you're sure that what you're seeing is correct, but what you're seeing is the correct view of a negative state. There is another correct view, as well, and that is the understanding from a positive emotional state. You can have that again f you will get the professional help of an excellent psychiatrist. Even go out of state to get it if you feel it's necessary.

Take care; let us know how things are and please forget about suicide.