Ops a daisy... I'm sat with a spliff in hand smoking away

I went to the dentist today and in the 17 days I have gone without weed or fags I have it seems started to grind my teeth, so badly I have actually worn down a few of my teeth. Ops!!

He then took a mould, I didn't like that at all... the dentist had to stand over me, and hold down this plastic bace with a putty clamping down hard on my bottom teeth whilst forcing my tongue to the back of my throat. I felt very unsettled with this as I'm sure you guys understand... Very triggering.

I stayed in the present though and didn't feel like I was going to loose it either, I detached the situation I think I was out side of myself. Not literally as thats happened to me before do you get what I mean by that?
I caught his eye for a moment and I caught him looking at me with this expression that made my stomach crunch with sadness. It was the strangest experience and typing now I can't find the words to describe it to give you an image.

When he finished he showed me an example of what I will need to ware to stop more damage. I noticed he was talking differently, soft and slowly rather than the quick, abrupt polite when we started. He told me that I will need to ware one forever from now on as once you start grinding in your sleep you can't unlearn it.

So explaining why my mouth has been hurting so badly and the head aches have been so bad. So if I come across anyone planning to quit I'm gonna suggest they get themselves to the dentist first get a guard and save themselves this pain. I have to only eat soft food until it gets better which might be weeks. Grrrrr.

So I went straight to my dealer and got a bag... I didn't just make cookies as I had bought a mix just in case I needed weed so I didn't gave to smoke coz I was doing so well. I needed a hit now I didn't have time to wait to make the cookies. (Plus I'm not suppose to eat solids. Grrrrr)

I lasted 16 days, had saved £192, not smoke 320 doobies according Nicorette tracker. I was doing well even though physically and mentally I have been having a fight but my resolve was holding out. But I've tipped over the edge today.

This quitting is no game it is something you have to let take over your life I knew I depended on weed mentally but the physical reaction has also been way more than I ever expected. My PTSD and borderline are really kicking up a notch without weed.

I am worried now and not sure how to proceed and really need your advice:

1. Should I carry on smoking until I get my guard to try and minimise the grinding until I can protect my teeth?
2. If quitting is going to make things more difficult, should I wait until I'm in DBT when I will have my own life coach on call.
3. If I give up quitting, I will never get the procedure to save my smile
4. I mentally had got myself into the place where I really thought I was going to do it, when in those moments I felt that I felt empowered and that the dependence had lifted and I liked that, I liked that very much. There were a load of emotions I had not experienced for quite some time now.

I am in quite a bad way though, physically and emotionally I am trashed... This has been a crazy 17 days.