I am afraid that several of us would actually euthanize ourself it it were legal.

Purple, I think it's ok to give the cat away to somebody or to humane society where they may be able to find it a home. If cat is driving you crazy, you have to do something about it. Pets can be really good for people, especially studies show they help to calm and be a companion for people with MI. But this cat is causing you more harm than good at this point. You don't have to be Mother Theresa and be perfect, you're already going through enough. Your mental health is most important. Removing this cat from your home is a positive step to getting your house and life manageable, imo. Yes, you may feel bad about having to give him away, and I hope someone will take him in, but it seems necessary to me.