geez, you are NOT pathetic! I know there was a thread about people who feel relief when their T cancels a session, but I'm pretty sure the majority of us feel somewhat irritated, unsettled, and abandoned when our Ts go on vacation. Maybe canceling a session is different from a T going away, too.

I worry about my T when she goes away. I want to keep her safe! I'm also jealous that she has the money to travel to exotic countries, and I don't. Whatever you are feeling is normal. I think it's irrelevant that we pay our Ts for their service. Therapy is a relationship, at least for many of us. Don't read this, stopdog! Your T has more than her time invested in you. It's so hard to find the middle ground and accept the reality. I'm working on it and it's tough! I'm starting to accept that I'm my T's job and I pay her. But we still have a relationship, a close one. To do the work of therapy for many of us, we need such a relationship. It's not pathetic to have strong feelings for your T and to be unsettled about her going away.