Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. Anne I do know enough about my T to see that everything is seemingly 'perfect'. She has also flat out told me she didn't have the same childhood trauma that I had experienced (not that it's a contest) and she grew up very differently. I think there are times where she doesn't 'get it' because she will say: but your parents surely went to your games and watched you play. - my answer - no they dropped me off and then picked me up when the game was over and one time my dad forgot to pick me up. At the age of 7 I walked in an unsafe neighborhood to find a phone to get a ride. I called my house several times only to have my dad show up an hour later where he was supposed to pick me up. I know my T isn't perfect but sometimes I feel like I have to have a 'good enough' reason to have the feelings I have.

I hope my T doesn't hate me. I may have shot myself in the foot by sending her the email about what I'm feeling and why. I hope she doesn't fire me. But then again if she does I deserve it.

I'm sorry for being in a bad place right now. This sucks. I hate this.