Im so sorry you're alone now too frownupsidedown. You asked if facing a life full of sadness fear and depression is worth it? Im pretty sure it isnt. Its empty right now and it seems like it will last forever but depression lies to us. There are good days and there will be more. Just try to ride out this sadness and believe there are better days ahead but it may take awhile to get there. We've just got to keep working at it. Sending hugs.