For the last few days I get really snappy about over very minor things, first it was my car getting stuck in the snow and becoming late to church due to it getting stuck and feeling like no one was bother to help me when I figured they could.

next it was coming home to a whole ton of things that frankly I knew where out of place...but got picked up and put away not by me by someone else.

I hate feeling that way... I feel like if other people do these things for how will I ever learn to cope with the issues myself.

I know I need to take help when i can get it...but at times it feels like just someone getting mad at me snatching the thing away from my arms doing it for me.

Yes I get that I have really bad, disorder and lots of them this means its harder for me to deal with things and cope with things that most people in their lives don't struggle with hardly at all.
But in a realistic sense I know that i have to be able to help myself with all this to some degree. There is not always going to be someone else there to help me or to hold my hand and frankly I am un sure if I want that.

I want to deal with my disorders and my issues myself. Although some days this feels utterly impossible.

I am meeting with phytraist tomorrow and I need to speak with her about quite a lot ....though a lot of my issue is I don't really know how to put all the things I want to say. But I need more then what I am doing now..and if it means putting me on a subtle dose of new meds in addition to what I am taking while I wait to....for the DBT therapy group then thats what I need to do...but I can't just go on and deal with these issues I have been having lately any more its just becoming too much. And I am afraid its gonna turn into too much for my friends and partners too if I am not careful.