Get another doctor, Downfallofusall. You do need to be medicated in my view to
stop the depression from holding you back. Once you get the chemistry stabillized you may decide to take up drawing again in a bigger and more productive way by
taking some art courses at a college nearby and then apply for work in an art field.

That's a good possibility for you.

There is one thing I know: Never give up. Regardless, keep thinking and looking
and working on things to make it better. Get the medical help first and keep going
for the good things you deserve in your life.