JP,
You are in good company here. We have felt the same way you do currently. No one is going to make fun of you or judge you. Your emotions are so raw. Please don't misread what people post to you. That is another issue with depression....sometimes we misinterpret words. You are in a safe place.

I have also learned at a early age to build a wall around me because I'm afraid of being hurt. I don't know if any of this makes since but I just needed to talk and finding this site I thought I'd try it.

I understand your fear and the wall. However, when we build walls, neither good nor bad feelings can touch us. Keep your wall, you can let it down slowly. Please tell one of your docs about the severity of your depression. If you could talk to a therapist, I think it would help a lot.

Chronic illness plays a big role in depression.

You made a major step in posting here.

Take gentle care,

Sabra

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