You didn't give much background in your post. Are there things going wrong in your relationship, or are you just feeling disconnected?

It sounds like you might be depressed. If that's the case, then I would hate to see you throw away a 21 year relationship with a good man for no reason. You might end up regretting the choice and fall further into despair.

Have you asked your significant other for support during these recent major losses in your life? Have you other people to support you during this hard time in your life?