After obsessing about the feelings & desires for so long, thanks to both therapy and personal reflection I am ready to start thinking about my feelings in a healthier way.

The obsession has been such a mixed bag of emotions. I have loved thinking about her, daydreaming about being intimate with her, but at the same time I was always realistic about the impossibility of it all. I don't want that inner turmoil anymore.

I have been working on separating the desires (unhealthy & destructive) from the feelings (healthy & normal). As the days go by the distinction between the two sides does become much clearer. Noticing the difference between the two has really been the key to my moving forward.

In many ways this feels like a break up. I am saying "goodbye" to the desire for an intimate encounter. I'll be honest, it is very sad to me. I am heartbroken that I have to let go, but I know I will get through it and I'm so excited to have gone through this with my T.

I want to say that I don't think I would be where I'm at if not for my T being so supportive of me. I never felt judged or weird.