That is a good suggestion to lower your expectations of him.I've learned from my mother not to bring up the pst because it's too painful as she admitted to me the other day while conversing, I've finally accepted i can't go there with her and I respect her opinion, even though i have a lot of things i would like to know bout. she's 75 and had open heart surgery and i'd hate to be the one who drove her over the edge to another one. i learned sometimes we can't always have things be as we wish, but to live in the now and accept things where they are now and work on that first. some things that happened in our family are just too painful for some of us to talk about, but maybe someday, even if i accepted no one wants to deal with it right now, there may be a window through someone else's mind that will someday open up the answers i need.