Yes, I have the rage. Something always triggers it, however. Like an argument. Or if someone is rude to me. Sometimes it's this underlying rage. Other times it's highly explosive and I have an episode. I only explode at adults and not physically. And yes, it causes intrusive thoughts, like you say, horror movie thoughts. Usually directed toward the person I am angry at. My anger at the person will last a long time, send me into obsessive thought loops, sometimes for months. If I think of that person it will cause a whole new explosion...

So.... yes, I understand.