The woman I’m seeing has BPD and was away on a week long training course for her work and is getting back today. Now I was thinking I was nagging her by calling every day so I figured I’d give her a break and wait a few days. Till I wrote a pen pal and found out this isn’t a wise thing with borderlines.

She said she has an aversion, or anxiety about talking on the phone. So I’m accrediting this to her lack of calls, both now and since I’ve known her. Even though she told me this it can seem that she’s not interested, that I’m being ‘played’ as it were. But I don’t let this dominate my thinking as she’s being honest with me.

I also read that long trips can be quite and ordeal for one with BPD and she’s gone almost 4 months now unable to get therapy.
Now to me she doesn’t seem to be all that anti-social, save for the phone call thing and sometimes needing a few days to herself. And she hasn’t shown any mood swings.

But also I haven’t heard from her since she left. Now normally I’d not worry too much being as we’re just dating and she has her own life. But I’d also hate for her to go through the… disassociation BPD’s can get when away from someone. To define what I mean by dissociation, the symptom of forgetting someone exists if their not present in some form, not to be confused with the average ‘forgetting’ or ‘absent mindedness’.

I don’t know, just getting out some thoughts out on it all.

My answer to it all, patients. Not easy, but something not being easy is always the sign it just may be true and right.

Do you all think I should continue to call every day? Is this excessive? I’m a former isolate so I don’t really know anything about relationship norms, be it a woman mentally sound or not.