I have been under a lot of work-related stress lately and frankly, not been acting myself. I have always been weird, but I think I am being weird even for me. (I laugh to myself a lot, but lately, I have been laughing uncontrollably in public places, for no discernible reason ... I mean, it's usually a thought that is funny to me, but what do onlookers know?)

In addition, I just started a new med (Trileptal), but I am at a small dose.

I was with a friend today, and she didn’t say it, but I could see she thought something was not right about me. Like, maybe I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because of work stress. Honestly, I think she believes I am crazy, that something is very off, and I think that maybe even she is afraid of me.

It feels awful, but then I feel I am paranoid for even thinking that way – for ascribing to her feelings that she might not have. She never said she thinks I am crazy, but there was a look in her eye, and I just – KNEW.

I guess I am teetering on the edge – maybe an upswing, or more likely, a mixed state – but I think I keep myself healthy (med-compliant, eat regularly, sleep regularly, exercise regularly) enough to avoid a major mental-health crisis. (I have had those, believe me.)

Does this sound like paranoia?? Has anyone else experienced these feelings of fearing others think you’re crazy??